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A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when a little old lady taps him on his shoulder. She offers him a handful of almonds, which he gratefully munches up.
After approx.15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of almonds. She repeats this gesture about eight times.
At the ninth time he asks the little old lady why they don't eat the almonds themselves, whereupon she replies that it is not possible because of their old teeth, they are not able to chew them. "Why do you buy them then?" he asks puzzled. Whereupon the old lady Answers, "We just love the chocolate around them."


:)
 

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A doctor broke the bad news to a man, that his wife would have to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital. “I’m afraid her mind’s completely gone,” he said. “Makes sense,” mumbled the man. “She’s been giving me a piece of it every day for the last 15 years.”
 

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A doctor broke the bad news to a man, that his wife would have to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital. “I’m afraid her mind’s completely gone,” he said. “Makes sense,” mumbled the man. “She’s been giving me a piece of it every day for the last 15 years.”

LOL ;-)
 

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I biologist, a chemist and a statistician go deer hunting. After about 6 hours of waiting in a blind near the water hole, they spot a nice buck at about 150 yards. The biologist shoots first, missing five feet left. The chemist shoots second, missing five feet right. The statistician jumps up and pumps his fists in the air. We got him!


Slowrzraz
 

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Old blind walks into a bar orders a beer and asks the bartender if she would like to hear a blonde joke the bartender replies that she doesn't think that would be a good idea. The old fella asks why and she replies that she is a blonde herself along with 4 other ladies in the bar, one being a professional weightlifter, 2 are biker gals and the other 2 are professional wrestlers. She asks him if he still wants to tell a blonde joke, he replies not if I'm gonna have to explain it 5 times !!
 

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What does a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist have in common...

They can both smell the goods but don't get to eat it.
 

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Discussion Starter #19
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"

That's Direct Marketing.


You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you and says,
"He's very rich. Marry him."

That's Advertising.


You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say, "Hi, I’m very rich. Marry me."

That's Telemarketing.


You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour
her a drink.
You open the door for her; pick up her bag after she drops it,
offer her a ride, and then say,
"By the way, I'm very rich. Will you marry me?"

That's Public Relations.


You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich."

That's Brand Recognition.


You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I'm rich. Marry me"
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.

That's Customer Feedback!!!!
 

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a doctor walks into the intensive care room and looks at the husband and says....." sorry...i dont like the looks of your wife ". the husband says..." i dont either doc, but she a heck of a cook, and good with the kids ".
 
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